How to Keep Your Well-being in a Relationship?

Hi, friends! 

I am feeling grateful to write about this subject, and also, to help people who needs help in the relationship dynamic. Thanks to all of you! By teaching you, I have learned so much. And to everybody in my life who participated in this teaching through life experience. Ok, let's start now!

Alignment is a concept by which every part of your being is agreeing. It is an agreement with yourself, consciously and subconsciously! You are married to yourself. Your intention is straight, and usually when you are in this place, you experience ease. Everything comes and goes easily; you attract what you need in the perfect time. You know that you are in alignment with your inner being (source energy), when you feel good on a regular basis. Everything flows and you naturally are where the energy is. It is such a great feeling because you awaken to the unlimited version of you. You feel like there is nothing that can resist you because you touch your essence, which is unlimited. This is the most grounded form of freedom! 

What is happening when you are in a relationship?

At the beginning, you are focusing on the good and you feel great because you are the center of attention of the other person.After a while, when the other starts to have another subject of attention, and yet, still is in relationship with you, the fear of abandonment or of losing something begins, because a sense of losing your status of being the first is scary. Naturally, in order to maintain your first position, you will get out of yourself to please the other person, so you are good enough to be kept. Becoming more focused on what your partner is feeling for you, you are looking for his approval.

Symptoms identified:

- You are in denial of your own needs

- You don't even pay attention to them

- The other person comes first, even if you feel miserable

- Self-confidence is vanished

- Fears, anxiety, insecurity and constant judgment 

- Feeling of falling deeper and deeper

- No self-love

- Victimization mode including complaints

You are actually abandoning yourself, and the illusion of the other person doing something wrong to you is so strong that you finally blame your partner. Somehow, you need the other person to change so you can feel better. What an excuse to not be who you are! 

By having the fear of being abandoned by the other, you are abandoning yourself. Why? Because this has nothing to do with the other person but with your relationship with yourself. You must understand that the other person is actually YOU, a projection of you. So it does not really matter what your partner is doing as long as you are caring for yourself. It is all about you. The Universe loves you so much that it creates the perfect movie, FOR YOU, to come back to yourself so you can happily be free with others... and not a fake version of you to "make it work"!  When you are in alignment with yourself, there is no need to play games to catch the other because you are free from unhealthy attachment. In a sense, this is the place you are looking for to start with...

Do you want this kind of love and freedom of being who you are? Then love yourself! Loving yourself is the only way to keep your own alignment, despite anything going on around you.

How do you love yourself and come back to alignment?

- Be and assume who you are, despite any tips....if you are co-dependant, you are and that is ok! If you need more space, that is ok too. No right or wrong, just play your own role!

- Pay attention to how you feel 

- Express your truth, don't forget you are human!

- Listen to what you need..first. Then share from a much sincere place!

- Appreciate your own company,including your shadow

- Understand that there is nothing but the reflection of the relationship with yourself

- Eat what you love the most

- Do  what you love and trust it!

- Go where the light is

- Watch your speech and direct it positively! 

- Remember that judgment, gossip, and criticism towards others creates negative vibration and does not lift you up! Also it is  usually toward yourself.

- Be everything you want to see in others

- Be conscious that there is nothing higher than love to give you inner peace and freedom!

- When you love yourself, you make space for the other to show his/her best!

- Expect that the best is still yet to come and feel it! 

You will feel your energy moving and your mood shifting. It is all about focus! And it is finally easy to feel better and change the outside circumstances. While you do not have control over people, by changing the way you feel, you change your reality, and this changes everything else! Your happiness depends on your perception! Your future is created by how you feel now!

May you convince yourself, in the most natural way, of how good you are, to allow the best to show up in your relationships!

With love

Sarah S.Parienti